Recollections
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: James, bored stuck all alone in his house in Dumbledore's attempt to keep them safe, picks up one of Lily's unused notebooks. Mostly James's POV as he writes about what happens to him between Hogwarts and a few weeks before his death.
1. Prologue

Title: Recollections

Summary: James, bored stuck all alone in his house in Dumbledore's attempt to keep them safe, picks up one of Lily's unused notebooks. Mostly James's POV as he writes about what happens to him between Hogwarts and a few weeks before his death.

**Note: I know I've got a lot of chapter fics up. But it makes me happy to have all of them to focus on. I know I am kind of neglecting others for this, but they will be updated soon. **

**Of course this will have classic James humor. And a bit of serious-ness about it. And yes, my OCs too. But mainly, it's James's account of things.**

**I know this chapter is short. It's meant to be short! Second chapter will be up soon.**

Chapter 1: Prologue

James Potter sat at his tiny little kitchen table, scowling. He felt like a little kid, again. No leaving the house, not for anything. Not even under his Invisibility Cloak.

He was bored. And somewhat lonely. And craving adventure.

And yet he was stuck in a house with his wife and son. Which in itself was not a bad thing. But to someone like James, he felt he could very well go mad.

Even at Hogwarts they were allowed outside whenever!

Lily had suggested that time and again he take up a hobby. What kind of hobby could he do in a house, all by himself? That was safe for Harry, as well.

Sighing, James glanced around the kitchen. It was perfectly clean and tidy. As soon as his son awoke from his nap, that was bound to change.

How he wished for something to do! Anything!

But the house was as tidy as it could be. Even with Harry ready to destroy anything when he awoke, the house could be cleaned within moments.

He could not send anyone a letter. He did not want a letter intercepted. No matter how vague he made it.

And no one had dropped by to see them in days. The last person to drop by had been Peter Pettigrew, and even James's old pal had not stayed for very long.

With another sigh, he glanced around the kitchen. Then his gaze fell on one of the slightly tattered notebooks Lily had left laying around. Why she had wanted them, he was a bit unsure. He figured it had something to do with sending letters 'the Muggle way'.

But surely one she would not miss.

He grabbed one and thumbed through it, making sure it had not been used. It had not. Pulling out his wand, he summoned a quill and pot of ink over to himself and began to write.


	2. Order of the Phoenix

Recollections

Chapter 2: Order of the Phoenix

Shortly after we had finished our final year at Hogwarts, Dumbledore summoned us all, myself, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Gen, Celeste, Marci, and a few others from our year, to The Hog's Head. His brother's pub.

I wondered what he had wanted from us. We were fresh from school, had no experience really. What could we do for him?

I sat with Sirius. He seemed to be as confused as I was, but was fully engrossed in the bottle of butterbeer he was holding. For Sirius to be quiet things had to be, well, serious.

He asked me what Dumbledore wanted. I told him I had no idea.

Though finally Dumbledore spoke. He offered us all a place in an anti-Voldemort group. His group. The Order of the Phoenix he called it.

My thoughts quickly went back to "We're just out of school, why would we be good for this?"

But then Dumbledore made mention of other members of his little group. There was Auror Alastor Moody. Mad-Eye, really. I doubt many people know him as Alastor.

There was also Ministry employee Arthur Weasley. Nice man, really. My parents knew his vaguely. Little bit of a nutter, but aren't we all, really?

His wife and Lily really seemed to hit it off.

Molly's brothers were also a part of this order of Dumbledore's. Apparently they were really quick to join up.

Edgar Bones. I suppose it was seeing him, brother to high-ranking Ministry official Amelia Bones, and knowing full-well that Edgar knew what he was doing and what he was getting into that made me agree with Dumbledore.

A few moments after I told him I'd do anything in my power to help, Lily piped up in agreement. Then Sirius, and the rest of us.

Personally, I would have preferred Lily not to have gotten involved. I'm sure, as a Muggleborn, Voldemort would have gone for her first. He surprised me sometimes, though. Seemed to completely ignore her.

Dumbledore offered no excuse for that. He seemed as confused as I was.

But I trust Dumbledore. Trusted that he would keep her safe. And he's been trying. Has tried ever since we joined up to protect the Muggleborns in our group.

It's something I'm thankful for.

After Dumbledore told us we could leave, I stayed behind. Lily was staying with Gen, the two would be fine. I wanted a word with Dumbledore and he seemed to know this.

I asked what he wanted from us. I brought up my concerns about being just out of school.

Dumbledore said we were some of the brighter minds at Hogwarts. And that he knew we wanted Voldemort's downfall. Which was true. But I had to ask a nagging question: There were wizards and witches better than us, weren't there?

Dumbledore went into a long speech about how the Ministry is so corrupted that he could not tell who was on our side and who wasn't. Arthur, Moody, and Edgar were, definitely. And they were perfect to keep an eye on those inside the Ministry.

I asked about those of us not in the Ministry. Where did we fit in?

He said he had jobs for us. Some larger than others. But right then and there he wanted us to lay low. Keep an eye out for Voldemort and any idea what he could be doing.

With a nervous gulp, I asked about Remus. Would he sent Remus away.

Dumbledore was quiet. Finally, he said that Remus would be more useful than anyone could realize. Remus could live among his fellow werewolves. Word had reached Dumbledore that Voldemort was interested in them.

He wanted Remus as a spy.

Which sort of angered me. Using Remus like that? When Remus trusted Dumbledore over anyone? Remus had never lived among the werewolves. I never even saw Remus as a werewolf! They would eat him alive!

But Dumbledore swore up and down that Remus would be fine.

I feel somewhat protective of Remus. So I told Dumbledore that he better be kept safe. Dumbledore nodded.

Right outside the pub, Sirius was waiting for me. He asked me what I thought about all this. I told him what Dumbledore wanted from Remus.

Sirius let out a low whistle. "Well, Remus can say he's got something to do." he told me. I told him it did not matter. I said Dumbledore was using him.

Sirius's exact words were "He's using all of us, mate." I suppose he was right. No, he was fully right. Dumbledore was using all of us.

Same as Voldemort was using his Death Eaters. Though there was a key difference: Dumbledore cared who lived and who died. Dumbledore mourned his losses and counted them as that.

Voldemort merely laughed and used magic and blackmail to replace those who died in his insane quest for wizarding domination. Or those he killed himself.


	3. Blood Status

Recollections

**Note: Ah, why is it things I love doing are hated? Ah well, I'll continue to work on this because I enjoy it.**

Chapter 3: Blood Status

Sirius and I managed to get into a long chat about blood status soon after Dumbledore ordered us together. He made some interesting points, I made some interesting points. And even if it felt like we were joking at the time, we were both very serious about this.

I had decided to stay with him that night. We were just being lazy, laying about his living room when he asked me, "Being pureblood, it's not going to make much difference if we're fighting against Voldemort will it?"

I had to think about this for a moment. Sure, Voldemort wanted only purebloods. But would that stop him from wanting to slaughter us?

"No... I don't think it will." I said. "He knows we're working with Dumbledore. Or he will sooner or later. If he comes recruiting -- "

"I'd never join." Sirius said quickly. "Seems to me like if you mess up, he won't care how "dirty" or "clean" your blood is. Look at that little git of a brother of mine."

I nodded. Sirius's brother had joined the ranks of the Death Eaters. Apparently he had turned coward and wanted to run but was killed.

Or so we were told.

"Neither would I." I told him. "I have no reason to join up with him. And my being with Lily, I doubt he'd take me unless I swore up and down I was blinded by her sneaky Muggleborn magic or something."

Sirius looked at me for a moment, then he started laughing. "And how would that go?"

I pondered the answer for a moment or two. Then, smiling, I said, "No, My Lord, I have never loved this Muggleborn. She hexed me with her stolen Muggleborn magic."

Sirius snorted. "Might want to use 'Mudblood' in front of the Dark Lord."

"I could never."

Sirius barked with laughter again. "Of course not. He'd never believe you if you didn't. You'd be dead on his carpet the first time 'Muggleborn' passed your lips."

He and I laughed about that. Then, it did not seem like it would be serious. Or that we should be serious. I guess we made that mistake far, far too many times.

"Does he even know weakness?" Sirius asked.

"How should I know? I'm not his best friend or anything."

Sirius shrugged. I guess he wanted some idea as to how to get by Voldemort.

Shaking my head, I told him, "Sirius, do you really think he'd let you by? Your brother betrayed him, there's the Gen thing, you're not exactly Slytherinly either."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "So what if I'm not a Slytherin? I'm from the Noble and Moste Ancient House of Black aren't I?"

"He doesn't exactly have good recruits from the Black family." I pointed out.

"What about my dear cousin Bellatrix?"

"She's just a nutter in her own right."

Sirius grinned. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

We were quiet for a while. I figured Sirius had fallen asleep. But he finally asked me a question.

"What do you think he intends to do first? Raise his numbers or just... go wild?"

I shook my head. I could not say. I did have an idea though. "I think his idea to start would be to either increase his numbers, or get the Muggleborns first."

Sirius seemed a bit sickened by that. Though he tried his best to sound casual when he spoke next.

"We've got to keep an eye on Gen and Lily then?"

I nodded. The thought had occurred to me. Several times in fact. Sure, Gen and Lily could take care of themselves, Lily especially, but the thought of Voldemort and what he would do to them scared me.

Though I'm not sure I would admit to it then and there. At that moment in time, I saw him as nothing but a tiny threat.

Over time, we've all learned. Voldemort, if you're against him, doesn't give a rip about blood status.

Though he does seem to go after Muggleborns first, he doesn't care who dies. It's madness. Stupidity at its peak! You can't have a world with purebloods if you kill most of them simply because they don't agree with you.


	4. A Question

Recollections

**Note: This chapter is awfully short, but I've been having a dreadful time with updating here lately. A bit of a block, stupid electrical problems, and just outright lazy. :) Will get back in the swing of things soon enough.**

Chapter 4: A Question

The Death Eaters are stupid. At least without Voldemort's guidance.

We soon found that out. Sirius, myself, Lily, and a few others had headed to The Three Broomsticks as we had not seen each other in a while. It had been ages since Dumbledore made us meet. Every now and again, someone would leave for some mysterious reason.

But most of us were still around.

Apparently word had gotten to Voldemort that Dumbledore had created the Order of the Phoenix. And these "geniuses" wanted to set out and prove we weren't so tough.

Or something along those lines.

Hell, maybe they were drunk.

For all we knew, they were. And yet, when we were confronted by this ragtag group of Death Eaters, there was really only one thing to do: laugh.

Didn't really help us much then.

We pulled out our wants, and a duel ensued. And I have to say, it was a surprising thing. Apparently Voldemort had taught them several tricks. Things that we just barely countered.

While dodging an Unforgivable Curse, I grabbed Lily and pulled her out of the way. I wasn't sure what came over me, but I asked her a question.

"Lily, if we make it out of this unscratched, will you marry me?"

Laughing she said yes.

I was joking. I think. To this day I still don't recall why I did it. Planning a proper proposal would have been best.

But anyway, back to that night.

Dumbledore soon showed up. One or two of the Death Eaters still tried to show off against us, but most ran off. Cowards.

Dumbledore asked us what had happened. We told him exactly what happened, though we were rather willing to leave out the bit about laughing at them.

He seemed to think long and hard, and soon said he would contact us before he left.

Later on, he took the time to teach every member of the Order to use Patronuses as messengers. It has come in handy for us on countless occasions.

In fact, Dumbledore has taught us a lot more than we would have learned in school. I imagine this Patronus trick is one of his his own creation. He has never said. And I'm not entirely sure he will.

As for my little question to Lily, every single Order member remained untouched.

Though I did not want her to marry me with that question, she agreed. I think she was expecting it much sooner to be honest. Made me happy in a dreadful time for all of us.


End file.
